Reason one: The Drug Abuser Is Now in a New Group
People tend to pay most attention to the thoughts and feelings of their drugged peer group. As a young (new) drug abuser works to fit into his or her new group, they are learning how to behave all over again. There are conflicts with the new beliefs and codes of conduct of the new group and the ways of the existing group, i.e. the family. What is expected of them in the new group might be in complete opposition to the expectations of the existing group.
Some new drug users solve this dilemma by donning two personalities, one for the family and one for the druggie group. Keeping these two avatars separate can be a real juggling act, especially when it involves significant changes in appearance.
The new group actually has a completely different moral code which must be followed in order to maintain group status. Where theft might cause the person to become ostracized by the members of the former group, in the new group of drug abusers it might elevate one’s position and gain the respect of fellows. This can be seen in gangs, where initiations often involve performing some act of violence.
So when you try to get this person to see reason and leave the drugs behind, you are also asking him to give up his new group, to break the moral code he has been following and, in a way, betray his friends.
I wish there was a simple way out of this corner. If there was, drug abuse and addiction would not claim as many lives as it does. But understanding this phenomenon can give you an edge up in dealing with someone moving into a drug abusing lifestyle.
Point out to the person that there is a moral code in the family too. Show them that there is also a code of conduct in the community, and that living up to those codes is by far the more pro-survival course to take.
This could be a tough sell, as you are working at odds with the druggie friends and the social pressures that depict drug abuse as fun and enlightened.
Next in this series:
Five Reasons Why a Drug Addict Won’t Listen to Reason
Pro-Drug Propaganda
For advice regarding addiction or help finding the best treatment, go to http://www.TheRoadOut.org/addiction-help.html Or visit Tony’s blog at http://www.detoxrehab.org.
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